Why Can’t We Be Lovers?: 8 Things You Should Do When Someone Rejects Your Love

Once upon a time, you are wandering all alone in the lonely path of life. Then suddenly, your path leads you to meet someone, and for the first time, you fall in love dearly. You find a new reason to live. But when you look deeply into each others’ eyes, you discover a shocking reality.

The feelings are not mutual.

So, what do you do when someone rejects your love?

1. Respect the decision.

When the person confirms that the love you are offering cannot be reciprocated, humble yourself and respond with kindness. Do not judge the feelings. Do not even try to change how the person feels toward you.

Love cannot be forced.

If you truly love, you will be patient and kind enough to let the person be with the other person he/she really loves.

2. Accept your own feelings.

Rejection can be painful. You open your heart to someone, and your expectation is for the person to love you back. That is not always the case. Be authentic with your feelings of hurt. Denial does not protect you from pain. Grieve for your feelings, because the only way to get through them is to go through them.

Rejection can be devastating. It can trigger you to question yourself and you get feelings of shame. Am I not good enough? Of course you are! It is just that you are not the right person for the one you endear; you are meant to love and be loved by someone else.

3. Redirect your love.

Your unrequited love is not the end of your story. There are great things that God has in store for you. When someone rejects your love, do not waste your love; instead, redirect it to someone else. There are other people who need your love. It can be a family member whom you had a long-strained relationship with, or perhaps it is yourself that you need to love even more.

Sometimes, rejection is a blessing in disguise. It forces you to re-examine yourself and your relationships, until you see the areas of your life where you need to grow or restore love.

4. Develop your character.

Heartbreak, like any other unfortunate events in your life, requires your response. You can let it destroy you; you can let it define you; or you can let it develop you.

Suffering from a heartbreak can expose certain qualities that you need to build your strength on, like being compassionate and sensitive with others. When you have gone through the deep pain of brokenness, you will never look at the broken-hearted the same way again.

5. Seek self-discovery.

When someone pushed me to the edge of rejection more than two years ago, I went to the process of re-discovering myself. I realized that I was already broken before I even tried to be in the relationship. I journeyed back to where I began, and made some amends in my past that were necessary to face my present.

Spend quality time with yourself. Dare to try new things that you have never done before. Revisit your goals and re-discover your passion. Make your routine more exciting, or plan out a different way of doing the same things. Do something productive and you will discover parts of yourself that you have never known before.

6. Maintain your faith.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on own understanding,” says Proverbs 3:5 (NIV). This is exactly what you need to do because in your season of brokenness, you will never get to understand why it is happening to you.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV),” means that you have to worship the Lord even in the midst of your pain.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” – Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

Do not wait for time to heal you; let God heal you. Surrender your brokenness to Him and He shall make you whole again, stronger than ever before.

7. Focus on new hope.

Look ahead and move towards the future. Let go of your unrequited love and leave it behind. Turn over a new page. A new character awaits you in the next chapter of your love story, but it only happens if you are willing to let go.

God is preparing you for a blessing, but He can only do so if you choose to give up what you once before, and trust what God wants you to become.

8. Keep believing in love.

Love might have caused you a pain so crushing that you wonder if you would still be able to love again.

Love can be tough, but the difference between winning and losing in love is resilience. Tweet

Do not let the pain numb your heart from loving again. Do not let bitterness put your heart on hold. Pain deepens love. To love, to risk your heart is the reason you are here.

Do not be afraid to trust Love one more time because “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT).”

Have you also struggled with unrequited love? What gain did you get out of your pain? Your love story can be the next testimony to God’s faithfulness. Tell us about it, right here.