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Why Can’t We Be Lovers?: 8 Things You Should Do When Someone Rejects Your Love

When Someone Rejects Your Love

Hillsborough Forest Park, Co Down, Northern Ireland

Once upon a time, you are wandering all alone in the lonely path of life. Then suddenly, your path leads you to meet someone, and for the first time, you fall in love dearly. You find a new reason to live. But when you look deeply into each others’ eyes, you discover a shocking reality.

The feelings are not mutual.

So, what do you do when someone rejects your love?

1. Respect the decision.

When the person confirms that the love you are offering cannot be reciprocated, humble yourself and respond with kindness. Do not judge the feelings. Do not even try to change how the person feels toward you.

Love cannot be forced.

If you truly love, you will be patient and kind enough to let the person be with the other person he/she really loves.

2. Accept your own feelings.

Rejection can be painful. You open your heart to someone, and your expectation is for the person to love you back. That is not always the case. Be authentic with your feelings of hurt. Denial does not protect you from pain. Grieve for your feelings, because the only way to get through them is to go through them.

Rejection can be devastating. It can trigger you to question yourself and you get feelings of shame. Am I not good enough? Of course you are! It is just that you are not the right person for the one you endear; you are meant to love and be loved by someone else.

3. Redirect your love.

Your unrequited love is not the end of your story. There are great things that God has in store for you. When someone rejects your love, do not waste your love; instead, redirect it to someone else. There are other people who need your love. It can be a family member whom you had a long-strained relationship with, or perhaps it is yourself that you need to love even more.

Sometimes, rejection is a blessing in disguise. It forces you to re-examine yourself and your relationships, until you see the areas of your life where you need to grow or restore love.

4. Develop your character.

Heartbreak, like any other unfortunate events in your life, requires your response. You can let it destroy you; you can let it define you; or you can let it develop you.

Suffering from a heartbreak can expose certain qualities that you need to build your strength on, like being compassionate and sensitive with others. When you have gone through the deep pain of brokenness, you will never look at the broken-hearted the same way again.

5. Seek self-discovery.

When someone pushed me to the edge of rejection more than two years ago, I went to the process of re-discovering myself. I realized that I was already broken before I even tried to be in the relationship. I journeyed back to where I began, and made some amends in my past that were necessary to face my present.

Spend quality time with yourself. Dare to try new things that you have never done before. Revisit your goals and re-discover your passion. Make your routine more exciting, or plan out a different way of doing the same things. Do something productive and you will discover parts of yourself that you have never known before.

6. Maintain your faith.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on own understanding,” says Proverbs 3:5 (NIV). This is exactly what you need to do because in your season of brokenness, you will never get to understand why it is happening to you.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV),” means that you have to worship the Lord even in the midst of your pain.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” – Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

Do not wait for time to heal you; let God heal you. Surrender your brokenness to Him and He shall make you whole again, stronger than ever before.

7. Focus on new hope.

Look ahead and move towards the future. Let go of your unrequited love and leave it behind. Turn over a new page. A new character awaits you in the next chapter of your love story, but it only happens if you are willing to let go.

God is preparing you for a blessing, but He can only do so if you choose to give up what you once before, and trust what God wants you to become.

8. Keep believing in love.

Love might have caused you a pain so crushing that you wonder if you would still be able to love again.

Love can be tough, but the difference between winning and losing in love is resilience. Tweet

Do not let the pain numb your heart from loving again. Do not let bitterness put your heart on hold. Pain deepens love. To love, to risk your heart is the reason you are here.

Do not be afraid to trust Love one more time because “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT).”

Have you also struggled with unrequited love? What gain did you get out of your pain? Your love story can be the next testimony to God’s faithfulness. Tell us about it, right here.

11 Comments on Why Can’t We Be Lovers?: 8 Things You Should Do When Someone Rejects Your Love

  1. Thank you for this. I needed to hear these things. I agree with you that sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise. When my ex broke up with me, I saw it as an opportunity para i-evaluate ‘yong status ng relationship ko sa family ko at sa mga kaibigan ko. Nong time na kami pa, I spent less time with friends and when we broke up those were the ones na unang dumamay sa akin. Sa ngayon I focus on my family and I make it a point na madalas ko silang makausap at maka-bonding. Agree din ako, tulad ng sabi ni Paul, (genuine) love never fails and gives up. So antay lang. And develop yourself while waiting for the right one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Foot Prints in the Mind // March 30, 2018 at 00:33 // Reply

    My interest/likeness/love has been rejected 4 times by 4 different people. It really hurts to find yourself being rejected by men again and again. And I have no idea what the problem is, whether its me or them .. Not sure at all.


  3. Hay, the unrequited love. I think we all have one, don’t we? But it’s amazing how one’s rejection is a redirection to something so much better. Alam ko yan. LOL.

    Wise words. One day, my friend, the right one for you will come along. I’m so looking forward to read about it.

    Baka gusto mo magtry online dating din. That’s where I met my fiance.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ambivertedpsyche // February 10, 2018 at 01:10 // Reply

    An unrequited love may be one of the bad experiences a person could have yet it teaches the bests of love and life lessons he could ever learn.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on P.S.A..


  6. Noted Kuya Jays. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. RheaAngeline // January 24, 2018 at 10:21 // Reply

    I hope every man can read this. Based on my experience kasi, galit sila sakin after.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. ohh how I love how you included words of God in your advices, thank you so much for this post. I was once in an unrequited love but I am happily in a relationship with the person Hod destined me to.

    Liked by 1 person

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